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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23912845">the world feels a little smaller</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zrhueiao/pseuds/zrhueiao'>zrhueiao</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Summer’s End - Hong Kong 1986 (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, First Meetings, Lesbian Character of Color, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23912845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zrhueiao/pseuds/zrhueiao</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Isn't it fate that we met this summer? </p><p>A retelling of A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986, from Sam's POV.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Cheung/Sam Wong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the world feels a little smaller</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When I saw her, I was charmed at first sight. The way she acted, just like a skittish cat, aloof and wary. Something about her brought out a different side of me. I couldn't help teasing her, watching her reactions when I pushed her buttons. I just wanted to see more of her true self, the Michelle that I could feel just below the surface when she looked at me. She always looked at me like she was trying to solve a puzzle. I could feel the tension between us, but at that moment, something in me hesitated. Her sharp gaze made me feel exposed. I held back and let her go into the night. I realized now that I wanted her to find me. That scared me more than anything else.</p><p>I was so happy when I saw her on the street outside my store. I had been just about to close up the store to go to Cecilia's bar, Ruby. And then, at the exact moment when I stepped out of my store, I saw Michelle. Still dressed in her OL attire, she blended in with the professionals who came to Mongkok after work but at the same time, she stood out to me with how pretty she looked. <em>Was it because I had been thinking of her all day?</em> I decided right then that it really was fate and hoped that I hadn't used up all my luck. I gave a quick prayer of thanks to all the deities that I knew. I excitedly called out to Michelle and ushered her into my little store. It was a relief when she explained that she came all the way here just to look for my humble store. I knew Cecilia would admonish me again for this, but it just gave me more hope.</p><p>I was so happy, I couldn't keep my eyes off her as she explored all the video titles. I had to fight to keep my face neutral. She looked so cute, like a little lost lamb as she awkwardly flipped through the stacks of videos. When she stumbled over the pronunciation of a video title, I quickly stepped in to explain the quirks of my store. Even her preferences for entertainment were so dissimilar from mine. But I liked that about her too. She was a dreamer, just through another type of media. It meant that we had more to learn from each other. As I explained why I liked movies so much, I tried to put into action what I said. This would be a vivid and beautiful memory of mine, having her explore my store. Something that I could revisit over and over again.</p><p>I invited Michelle to go with me to Ruby. It was a sudden request but she gamely agreed. The night was humid but I was humming, basking in excitement. It made me all the more disappointed when she suddenly backed out just as we reached the entrance. I played off my confusion and accepted that she was busy. It was a weeknight after all. I was grateful enough that she had visited me tonight. But I wanted to spend more time with her, so I offered to send her to the station first. I planned to ask for Michelle's number then.</p><p>I was relieved when Cecilia showed up. Like the overbearing elder sister she was, Cecilia shepherded Michelle into the club. I shrugged and followed along, intending to keep an eye on Michelle in case Cecilia pulled her into anything wild. She was my guest. If Michelle wanted to leave after experiencing the club, I would send her home. I guided her to the bar, greeting the familiar face behind the counter happily.</p><p>"Your favorite, as usual?" She asked.</p><p>"It's the Tequila Sunrise for me," I shouted to make myself heard. "Do you want the same, Michelle, I promise it's good!"</p><p>Michelle refused. She got a water. The bartender made a face but it made me smile.</p><p>She bent but didn't break. This was how I knew there really was more to her. Or should I say, that was why I liked her? Michelle seemed like the quintessential good girl, but she had hidden depths too.</p><p>The regular crowd knew me, and seeing me bring a new girl must have been surprising to them. A few of the girls came over to tease me over my ex. I was glad that Michelle didn't seem to understand our coded language. Her attention drifted away from us. One of my friends even sat down next to us to enquire about Michelle's availability. It was harsh of me to think that, but it felt as if they circled like sharks over new blood. I didn't want to share her today and said as much.</p><p>I turned my attention back to Michelle.</p><p>She was looking out at the stage, face in a frown. She must have been feeling bored. I placed my hand lightly on her knee to get her attention. Many eyes were on both of us, all admiring. Those who saw would understand to stay away. But I was careful to keep my touch casual to avoid alarming Michelle. I apologized for being a bad host. We managed to have a good conversation even in the club. There was a pause. I couldn't tell whether it was a good or bad sign. Her gaze jumped away from mine when I leaned in to say something. Her facial expressions were much too honest. I decided to ask her about the music to put her at ease.</p><p>She was surprisingly outspoken whenever I, or more accurately, Cecilia, pushed too much past her comfort zone. I was surprised and pleased to see her chose the Tequila Sunrise nonetheless. <em>Was it because it was my favorite drink?</em></p><p>I could have smacked Cecilia for saying it out loud if it wouldn't have been rude to do that to my elder sister and benefactor in her own club. I tried to defuse the situation by finishing the drink. Although I found the face she made upon tasting the alcohol to be really cute, I didn't want Michelle to feel pressured to drink when she had no intention to do so in the first place.</p><p>When the music started, I was already feeling the rush of the drinks that I had downed. Ruby's didn't pull their punches with the alcohol. The music was lively and loud. It made me want to dance freely as I wished. I decided to bring back my usual courageous self and ask Michelle to join me.</p><p>I always loved being on the dance floor with my people and to have her there with me, it was almost like a dream. The strobe lights shined brightly on us. The roar of the music heated my veins. I could have continued all night, just letting myself be free of all worries and cares that burdened us in the day.</p><p>But Michelle wasn't used to this. She had an uncomfortable look like she didn't want to be there anymore. I was apologetic to keep her out late and to bring her to a bar that she never would have stepped foot in, but I really wanted to show her my life too. I was glad that she seemed to understand my feelings.</p><p>The night was still going smoothly. I was happy to show her the full experience of night life in Mongkok. The food somehow tasted especially good tonight, somehow. It was only ruined when her clothing was stained by the curry sauce. Oh no... I was in a fluster too. I wanted to make up for it before the night was unsalvageable.</p><p>While at the laundromat, I made sure to set the right wash cycle and set the spot with detergent to make sure the blouse wouldn't stain. In their own way, I realized the gods had continued to smile on me. The laundromat would take an hour to finish the wash cycle. That was an hour more with Michelle. I couldn't help smiling, even with detergent staining my hands.</p><p>I entered my apartment. I caught Michelle watering the plants on my balcony. I always forgot to water them but they were hardy plants despite my lack of care. Still, she was truly a kind and considerate girl...</p><p>And seeing her in my white button-down shirt was making my heart pound. She looked so beautiful, even though she was just in an old shirt that was slightly oversized and mismatched to her outfit. I don't know how I managed to hold a conversation at all. I tried to cover up my reaction by keeping myself busy as a good host. While the tea boiled, I calmed myself down, thinking of the calmness of the ocean water. As the music played, I sighed too, empathizing with Deanie Ip.</p><p>We sat on the soft bed, sipping our oolong tea. Our conversation was easy and flowed easily. It was surprising when she apologized again. She truly was a sensitive girl. I wanted her to feel comfortable around me. It would be good if she could feel safe enough to express her true feelings without being worried about societal niceties and so I said it playfully while shifting a little closer.</p><p>"Maybe you should be a little more selfish around me."</p><p>I laughed when she shot up from the bed, massaging her cramped leg. It was fun to have a new friend over. She examined my photos with the same intensity she had when looking through the records. I watched her fondly and caught her smirk at my school photo.</p><p>
  <em>My smile never changed?</em>
</p><p>I supposed that was true.</p><p>We continued to talk easily. Michelle seemed to be more comfortable in such an intimate setting as our conversations continued. I watched for her reactions to me, trying to understand if she felt the same way I did. She would look back at me with a blush. But she didn't try to move away or shy from my touch. It was starting to burn at me again. I couldn't take this ambiguity much longer. I wanted to make it clear. I knew I shouldn't push. Someone like Michelle would not even think of this. Still, I felt the pull between us growing.</p><p>"Oh!" Michelle jumped up, asking for permission to use the phone. It really was late. Time had passed so quickly as we talked.</p><p>I watched Michelle dial a number from my phone. I was cool. I was as composed as the ocean. Michelle would call for a ride home. And I would return to the sea. But it wasn't as if fish were without desire.</p><p>I was still burning inside.</p><p>Michelle's mother was the conservative type. I understood a little more about how Michelle was the way she is after overhearing their conversation. I couldn't help but tease her again. Even then, I was sorry to my mother, whose picture overlooked all of this.</p><p>"I have to be honest with you." I said seriously.</p><p>"I might just be one of the bad girls your mother warned you about." I smirked.</p><p>She blushed again. Her compliments made me do the same too. This girl was unknowingly breaking into my heart. She was too naturally charming.</p><p>I really, really wanted to see her again. So I asked.</p><p>"Michelle... I enjoyed being with you. Can I see you again?"</p><p>Her reply stoked the flames inside of me. I became even more honest about my feelings towards her. I wanted her to know. I stepped forward almost instinctively. We ended up against the balcony glass. She looked away, a deep blush suffusing her cheeks. It made her look even more alluring. I asked gently and she looked back at me.</p><p>Her lips parted.</p><p>"Sam..."</p><p>I couldn't resist anymore. I didn't know any other way to convey my feelings for her. I wished for her to accept them. I pleaded for her to push me away if she refused.</p><p>I kissed her for the first time. It was a gentle, sweet kiss that she accepted.</p><p>Michelle's lips were soft, just like the rest of her body pressed against mine. Her earrings brushed against my hand. The world had narrowed and expanded suddenly. I had regained enough of my senses to realize that it wasn't the most romantic of places, suddenly fully aware of the neighbours surrounding my apartment.</p><p>We separated. Michelle looked so soft and dazed. I brushed her hair away from her face. I whispered her name and her eyes were on me again. I wish we could have stayed like this forever.</p><p>I leaned in again with my eyes closed. This time, I was more secure. I shifted my body closer against hers. I pressed my lips against hers with more intent.</p><p>That was my mistake. Michelle broke away from the kiss.</p><p>She pushed me aside, gathered her belongings and left. I did not try to stop her.</p><p>
  <em>Stupid, stupid!</em>
</p><p>I had to accept this. I already knew that it would be almost impossible for her to even think of something like this. The idea of romance between two women... She wasn't like me. She was an upstanding person in proper society. I was the wild child living outside of the margins, a corruption.</p><p>I knew that.</p><p>It still hurt.</p><p>We had a connection that I had never felt with anyone before.</p><p>It hurt even more to think that I would never see her again, not even as a friend.</p><p>I watched her leave in a taxi from my balcony. </p><p>I wished sometimes... that... it wasn't like this.</p><p>I wished my heart wouldn't hurt like this.</p><p>I wished I could see her again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i love sam wong so much. i hope that i've done justice to her and michelle with this retelling so far.<br/>thanks to oracleandbone for creating this wonderful universe.</p><p>please listen to <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vP8C9Sw1wLlsRDr7eQl46?si=AWoIRsc0REyGkc3c51SgCg">sam's mixtape a-side</a></p><p>yell at me on <a href="https://twitter.com/zrhueiao">twitter</a> (i insist.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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